where?

those of you reading this know (or at least know of) my friend carissa. i've completely lost contact with her. i miss her a lot. i did what i had to do for my own sanity by replacing her in my wedding, and i could never thank Lisa enough for taking over...but still. that was months ago. MONTHS. nearly 6 of them. and i've heard nothing from her. well, after some investigating, i found her "latest" blog tonight. it was from february (right around when we "lost touch") until april. it journaled her schooling in Maryland in preparation for going to sea through the hawaiian islands as a pastry chef, and then her first month on the ship. i think it made me even more sad, actually reading all of this. i tried my hardest to convince myself over the last 6 months that she hadn't had the capabilities of keeping in touch. i'd emailed and called her numerous times, with no response. reading her blog brought to light the fact that she could have, in fact, contacted me. march 13th was her first day of her 5 month "stint". which means she should be home fairly soon. i think, when i last talked to her, that she said it would be 5 on, 4 off. hopefully in the next 4 months, i can catch her. it tears me up inside to think i've hurt her. but if i have, i at least want to know. hopefully i haven't. i'll keep telling myself that until i know for sure.